Becoming a mother is a life-changing experience…

But it can also be overwhelming and exhausting. When I gave birth to my second daughter during the pandemic, I thought I had prepared myself for the challenges of motherhood. However, what I didn’t anticipate was the intense anxiety that came with it. Maybe it was the recent move to a new city, the stresses of having a newborn during the pandemic,  juggling the transition to two kids or all three! 

I felt like I was constantly juggling different demands

As a new mom with two young children and no family nearby, I felt like I was constantly juggling different demands and never had a moment to myself. I was always on edge, making simple plans felt overwhelming and stressful. I found myself constantly worrying about my kids’ well-being, my relationships with my husband and loved ones, and my own mental health. 

Seek help when needed

It wasn’t until I sought help from a therapist that I realized how much my lack of control over my schedule was contributing to my anxiety. With two kids who needed different things at different times, it was hard to plan anything, let alone take care of myself.

That’s when I started to set boundaries

I identified my stressors and figured out ways to create more structure in my life. Here’s what worked for me:

1. Prioritizing self-care: I started taking a workout class every day, even if it meant bringing my kids along. It was a way to take care of my physical and mental health, and it gave me a sense of control over my time. Shout out FIT4MOM Lake Norman! If working out isn’t for you, find a hobby you love or take a walk- be sure to do at least one thing for you everyday! 
2. Setting limits with family: My husband and I realized that we needed time just for ourselves, so we started to say no to unnecessary trips and visits from family. We also asked our families to come to us instead of always traveling to see them and made sure we had time with just our family of four at least two weekends of the month. 
3. Creating a schedule: I began to plan my days more intentionally, setting aside intentional time for work, fun activities with my girls, my workouts, time with my husband and most importantly sleep. This gave me a sense of predictability and helped me feel more in control. When you set a schedule you will feel more productive and eliminate the anxieties that come with the unknown of the day. BUT remember to give yourself grace if your schedule doesn’t go as planned, life with kids is always unpredictable and that’s okay!

Easier said than done, but still doable!

Of course, setting boundaries is easier said than done. It can be uncomfortable to say no to loved ones, and it takes time to figure out what works for you. But in my experience, it’s worth it.

By setting boundaries, I was able to reduce my anxiety and feel more empowered as a mother. I learned that it’s okay to prioritize my own needs and that saying no doesn’t make me a bad person. Becoming a new mom, or adding another child to the mix is a huge life change!

If you’re struggling with postpartum anxiety, I encourage you to seek help and consider setting boundaries that work for you. Give yourself grace, you deserve to feel in control of your life and to take care of yourself!